How to stop theft: bicycle edition

How does one thwart the theft of anything? If things were all how they were supposed to be, there’d be no theft period. People shouldn’t have to take unnecessary precautions on their own property.

When you have a larger item that doesn’t store in your small apartment, like a bicycle, the next best thing is outside. But outside on your porch there’s nothing to chain your bikes to, except each other, and still they could be pushed away together. These two bikes also cannot fit in your small outdoor closet. What can one do?

I have two simple steps to thwart the bike-kleptomaniac.

1) On one bike, remove the left foot pedal so that all that remains is the vertical metal shaft, nothing to push against. This will ensure that the thief-to-be falls off of the bike a short distance away, when he/she attempts to pedal, then subsequently abandons the bike in the grass by the sidewalk.

2) Make sure on the second bike that the chain is precariously attached. This will ensure that when the thief returns, hoping for better luck, and rides away with your second bike, the chain will fall off maybe 150 yards from your apartment. Now useless, the thief will become frustrated and chuck your bike into the creek.

By following these two simple steps you will have lost neither bike and possibly had the last laugh.

Please note, we would never intentionally do anything to cause another harm. Although the condition of our bikes are as described, we did not see the thief(s) and can only speculate as to what their reactions/actions were. Both of our bikes were recovered, the one in the creek by helpful police officers. How our bikes came to have loose foot pedals and chains is a mystery. Perhaps we should ride them more often.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.