It is a new month, and with it comes new adventures. This last weekend I helped my family move from the house we rented into the house that was just purchased (see previous journal entry for background story). As every move before this one – at least seven – the process was painful, literally and figuratively. I always forget how much stuff we own – from knick-knacks and books to clothes and furniture. Luckily we had some help.

In the past, my father and I have completed moves on our own moving everything in the house with a little help from my mother. That includes the seven foot tall entertainment center and my mother’s upright piano. This time, however, as my father had age, physical shape, and back problems on the unhelpful side we enlisted the help of my college wrestler boyfriend and my teenaged football cousin. They were a big help! As I have been out of shape since I stopped playing college golf two/three years ago, I was afraid dad and I would die before we got everything moved over.

Even though we had great help, especially on the large and cumbersome furniture, my dad and I woke up Monday morning after three days of moving to find that our bodies had bruises in various places and there wasn’t a part of us that didn’t hurt. I don’t know what we would have done if we had to move without the help of the two additional guys. Part of me feels weak, as in the past I was able to pull off such a move, but then I remember that my father always bore more weight because I am female; with his back issues there was no way he could make up for my lack of muscles.

To conclude, we are officially moved into the new house. As for unpacking – that is another story. My mattress is the only one still on the floor, but at least I have that to sleep on. Our garage is filled with boxes that will need to be unpacked and I had to hunt for a box of clothes to have something to wear to work this morning. I don’t know which part of the whole is worse: packing, moving, or unpacking? I do not enjoy any of it.

Our phone and internet service was supposed to be transfered on Monday – an ATT man came out to service the phone line, but that seemed to malfunction. No internet, and as my mother attempted to resolve the issue over the phone on Tuesday, the line was disconnected. Upon my father contacting them, we found out that they had no record of us ordering the transfer (dispite me hearing him talk to them a week before the move in preparation) and my father of course told them how ridiculous of a statement that was concidering they had sent the man out the day before to activate the line and my mother had used it only to be cut off from service while on the phone with their support. Issue seemed to be resolved. A new service man came out this morning, and when my father asked to verify that he would be activating the internet he replied that no such order had been made. This makes twice that my father has placed the transfer order on the phone only to have the ATT customer support somehow mess it up between the phone receiver and the fingers at the keyboard. We have phone service now (yea!) but no internet (boo). There’s a break down in their system, and it is really starting to urk me.

The house is the biggest we have ever lived in, and there are enough bedrooms so that I do not have to live in the basement any more. I certainly miss all of the space as it was like living in a one-roomed apartment (minus a convenient kitchen or bathroom). My parents informed me that they would not be expecting me to move out on my own until I can survive on my own. Meaning, they know my current job compensation would not allow me to make my bills, eat, etc. therefore I will be able to stay with them until my circumstances change. Good news!

I’ve been having a series of interesting dreams lately. Such things as searching through baby catalogs for a baby to purchase, being president of the united states but forgetting my official ID and having to redo the scenario until successful, being proposed to by my boyfriend with a ring from the 25 cent machine, and a news paper writing an article about my poetry and how horrible it was (granted, they picked things I wrote in 2002/2003 which wasn’t my best work to begin with). These dreams are welcomed as I went through a period recently with no dreams. It is as if my brain has finally switched back into creative mode.

And because of the dream I had last night, of my poetry critic in the newspaper, I was inspired to write a poem. I will end this update by sharing.

-Kristina

She floats, flutters, she soars
On wings of fallen leaves
Tied by ribbons of rain
Sparkling with first light
Triumphant glow
Defeated darkness
Rises with spears of day
She soars, sings, she dances
On wings of fireflies
Spirited by rivers of harmony
A voice of melded stars
Whirling skirts of beaded clouds
Exhilarating horizon
Sustained brilliance
Paints with streams of delight
She dances, dreams, she glides
On wings of lace petals
Coupled by threads of oceans
Glistening with points reflected
Abiding luminance
Restrains shadows
Carries melodies to the night

It has been several weeks since my last update. Numerous events in my life have taken precedence over updating my blog.

Since February I have been actively seeking employment other than where I currently work. For many reasons, none of which are that I don’t like my current job. I love working where I do, the variety and the responsibilities that I have – however, I have been looking out of necessity. I had two recent interviews, both with the same company, both feeling as if I did very, very well. Alas, neither job was meant to be. In the process I searched for apartments, went on tours, and began planning my eventual move. In short, all excitement, plans, and hopes were quickly squashed as I found out that the job was suddenly “put on hold”.

Yet, there was another job that was still in the running and it was in the same general area. The appeal of relocation was that I’d be very close to where by boyfriend lives and that I’d be in an area where I didn’t have to drive half an hour to the nearest Taco Bell or Barnes and Noble. I just got notification today that of the questions I answered online for the position, I scored a 93.21 and to be in the top 10-20 applicants the cut-off score was a 94.91; 1.7 points away from seriously being considered for the position. There exploded my last hope for a job offer by the end of the month. It is back to employment searching and applying for me. Some times it doesn’t feel worth it – I feel like despite the effort the future I want will never come.

My parents just placed an offer on a house this month, and between the loan requiring a maintenance agreement on the private driveway and none of the five or more houses wishing to sign an agreement that “yes, as residence on this drive we will work together to keep the road maintained” and other set backs, the process has been very stressful. First it was the offer, counter offer, etc. Then it was discussing with the landlord when the closing date and move-out would be. Why does all of this effect me? Quite plainly; because I live in my parents’ basement. With economic times the way they are, a recent college grad finds it hard if not practically impossible to land on their feet and walk level right after graduation. Luckily there was a basement. The closing keeps getting pushed back, a new driveway must be put in, and with working and job-hunting I still have to find the time to pack my things. I still haven’t finished though we should be moving in this weekend.

This will not be my last move this year. I found out from my parents that they think it is best for everyone if I move out of the house. A twenty-four year old, I suppose, is too old to live at home despite functioning as a live-in baby sitter, junior high tutor, and product packaging designer for the family while there. Once again I am on the hunt for a place to live. The problem this time? The move is not associated with an increase of pay with a new job. I have no idea in this galaxy how I will be able to afford anything but an efficiency apartment on my current compensation. College loans and car insurance alone take half of my monthly paycheck. I could possibly find a better job in my area, but as it is a rural community of scarce if any businesses, moving up in the working world is limited. Plus, this gets me no closer to my goal of living in the same city as my boyfriend.

It is frustrating – the job hunts, the interviews, the apartment hunting, the packing, the moving, the inevitable kick-out from my parents’ house, the stress of loans and finding insurance. Life has literally sucked every ounce of creativity from me and I can’t find the inspiration or want to write even the smallest poem. Life has beaten me down, for now, and I find it hard to be as jovial as I was a month ago.

On a brighter note, I was able to finally meet my boyfriend’s family this month. Several weekends I have spent at their house, playing games with the brothers, watching movies and T.V on DVD, and just hanging out with my boyfriend in his own territory. Those weekends are the highlights of my week. Two of those weekends came after successful, or at least what I thought was successful, interviews in the area and I was able to check out the area both as driver and passenger. The area is indeed great, and his family is wonderful as well.

Though, spending those weekends elsewhere also limited my packing time. Thus the reason why I am still in the process of packing for the move that will start in a little over 24 hours. After work, I am so tired that packing goes very slowly. Throw in time to relax, eat, and go to bed and I’m working under a tight shift. But as the Great Kristina that I am, I will get things done. I always do. Not that I enjoy it.

Making Scents shopping/online store has been put on hold for now as well. I briefly tested the shopping cart and found a very simple error on my part. I had the page sending https:// twice to the browser causing a very odd URL that could not function for the check-out process. I fixed it quickly and set all current items to the store as sold out as my mother will be hard pressed to send out orders if they happen during the move process. I will, tonight, place the link to the online store on the main page so that the webcrawlers become aware and that visitors that stumble to our main page will find another link to follow. Once the moving settles down, I will finish the online store (which should only take a day or two of editing) and begin with the actually site design. The website will then be officially finished. I can then begin work on my site design which might lead to creativity and a push for chapters of my books or new poetry. I can only hope that the inspiration returns again.

That is the update. Until next time…

Kristina

The Brown County Fair has started, which I had planned on entering some of my photography into. However, between various issues and endeavors, I finally decided to try again next year instead. Unfortunately this is exactly what I said last year when I missed the deadline. In 2008 I was traveling with my mother and sisters to Kansas for the middle sister’s Softball World Series – I couldn’t make the entry deadline or the late entry date, but I did take some interesting Kansas photos!

This year, I printed various pictures I wanted to enter but did not finish by writing my name on the back with the photo title – other than that they were ready to go in my home. I then headed out of town planning to return for the 10am to noon entry time on Saturday. However, with such a small window for entry I decided that the hour round trip just wasn’t worth it and perhaps I would try on Monday for the late entry time on my way to work.

This morning there was a window from 9am to 10am – a very small window indeed and work for me begins at 9. I decided late last night that I just wouldn’t enter the fair this year. I convinced myself that it didn’t matter that much to me – it wasn’t as if I was getting my name out to the community for a photographer-for-hire as no one would see my name attached to the pictures; it wasn’t a contest for money or recognition. The only thing that would come of it would perhaps be the satisfaction of receiving a blue ribbon or just viewing my photographs in such a setting.

Even after telling myself that beyond the latter statement, entering the fair wasn’t that important to me, I find that I am deeply saddened that I did not take the time to enter. Even my coworkers were surprised that I did not enter my photography, as they have seen my work. Part of me, I guess, was afraid of dissapointment – I know the quality of my work, and to be denied recognition by a county fair would severely injure my already humble view of my abilities. Perhaps it is best that I did not enter, though I do feel very sad at not doing so.

But here’s to a new week! I feel inspiration coming for more website development and possibly some new poetry. Stay tuned!

-Kristina